Moments (8)- August ’20 [20,21]

“Moments” are short posts of a rather “poetic – existential” taste”

AUGUST 2020:

[20] Τhe half which is always a whole

** ⛓️ At times it happens and someone Other becomes very important for us. And if it happens – not uncommon – to be rejected by this special for us Other, we may feel “less”, we may feel reduced to a “half”. We feel powerless to keep going, because we are experiencing ourselves split in two.

** However, mutilated as we may feel, we are ALWAYS whole. When I think I can never live without you because I sense myself as half a person, I continue to be something whole that simply feels like half and is tortured by the need to find you again in order to feel whole once more.

** But both when I do have you and when I don’t have you, I am always whole, just whole in different ways. Being a whole without you is one thing and being a whole with you is another thing – anyway, in both cases, me myself I am always a whole.

**However, being a whole without you is accompanied by feelings that are not easy to bear.  And in our times of avoiding any kind of difficulty on the name of an illusive and cheap prosperity based on “positive” thinking, we tend to evade feelings that seem not easy to bear.

** It is more convenient -and mostly more narcissistic- to keep on experiencing myself being a half, avoiding the responsibility to be a whole without you.

** In any case, all this is only a matter of our individual task to learn the great patience of a decent being in life, decently, while embracing both happiness and pain, both light and darkness, all of them, always all of them include in the indivisible whole called “I am”.

Text and image, based on an excerpt of my book “Notes for you”

[21] Me and my representative

** We like to think that what we call “my life” is simply a set of things that please us. Often, in our societies of delusional bliss, what we do not enjoy is considered as “non-life”.

** So we send an image of ourselves, a “representative” to process all the “unpleasant”. And in what time remains, we struggle to squeeze fun, eros, sex and love, relaxation, creativity, rest.

**But in doing so, we deny our personal responsibility for all aspects of our lives – after all, one’s life is one’s life in its entirety regardless of whether anyone asked him or her how she or he would prefer it to be.
Eventually, we end up living only half our lives because we have withdrawn ourselves from what is not considered “pleasant” for us.

**And yet, we confirm a deep split within our being. We cut ourselves, every day, in two pieces. One half is supposed to “live” during the “pleasant” moments. The other half is dead, a ghost who is just waiting for the “unpleasant” to pass.
But mostly, we lose the power of our wholeness: we turn ourselves to “victims” endlessly complaining while licking our wounds.

** And we rule out once and for all any possibility to change the “unpleasant” as we are half left – essentially indifferent to our own lives.

***My books translated in English are here

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